How to Have a Good Day
How do you guarantee that your waking moments, your days, are successful, joyful, effortless, and deliver the results of your desires?
There is a way to accomplish this. It is a simple way but it requires a few steps that may be very different from your current habits. However, with willingness to practice every one of these steps, you will soon replace your old habits with this new way. The following steps are adopted from A Course in Miracles.
Step 1: The Day You Wish To Have
The first thing to realize is that you are always making decisions, that decisions are continuous. You are not aware of many of the ones you make, but by practicing awareness of the present moment, you will begin to become aware of many more of the thoughts and decisions you previously made unconsciously.
The first thing to do, when you wake up every day, is to ask yourself “What kind of day would I like to have today?” Feel your desire for such a day. Then remember that whatever you ask for, you always receive by universal law. The point of the remaining steps that follow this one is to fine-tune that asking and uncover the “sabotaging” asking that has been going on behind the scene.
- Think about the kind of day that you wish to have. Actually, go over the experiences and feelings you would like to have. Feel the reasons and desires, the experiences of such a day.
- Remember that you always receive whatever you ask for.
- Therefore, you know that there is a way that this day you desire can happen automatically. You need not know how. In fact, you do not know how exactly. The how is up to Life to take care of. Life, The Source of All That Is, is the Maker, Doer and Director of the outcome of the intent that you hold.
Step 2: Make No Decision by Yourself
Once you have decided on what kind of a day you wish to have, it is now time to let go and let Life work. It is time to realize that whenever you make a decision, you always do so on either of two sides. One is the side of love and acceptance, and the other is the side of fear. You always have either one of these two advisors for every decision you make.
To make things clear, we now bring in the sources of these advisors. Fear comes from ego. In fact, ego is 100% fear and that is its total construction. Ego is merely a set of beliefs that one has put together over a lifetime, starting as a child. A belief is merely a thought that is habitually repeated whenever a trigger situation arises.
A belief is formed after the first instance that such a trigger situation happened in the holder’s life. That is all. It can be dropped in an instant. A belief maintains an illusion contrary to Reality. Reality does not depend on a belief for Reality to exist. It just is.
However, an illusion can only happen when there is a belief behind it, when a certain thought is repeated over and over, creating this illusion as a natural outcome of the Laws of Cause and Effect. The minute the belief is dropped the illusion starts collapsing and leaves behind the Reality it once covered. Love is the only Reality. Fear is the denial of love and all that goes with it, such as trust, acceptance, and so on.
Now you begin to see how ego, that basket of beliefs that people decide defines them and who they are, is a basket of thoughts arising out of fear and its various forms, such as attack, anger, judgment, denial, low self-esteem, un-acceptance, and so on.
Let us look at advisor number one – fear, ego. You now know that it is formed over time as a fear-based reaction to certain events. For example, a child may be innocently playing and discovering their world, know nothing to be wrong with them, desiring only to be loved and to enjoy. Then one day, this child’s teacher, neighbor, parent, brother or sister reprimands this child for something that they judged to be “wrong”. The child is now left with the question “What did I do wrong that made that person withdraw their love from me?”
And here is formed the first inner critic, the first strand of ego, with an false intent of making sure that in a similar situation this child will not act in that way again, or express themselves freely in that way again, lest they shall be found worthy of punishment, guilty, and unloved.
Therefore, this inner critic, this new voice, keeps trying to control and block the child in ways that avoid a similar performance in similar events. From that point on, the present is no longer faced afresh, is no longer seen in Reality, but is covered by the past-based belief being carried by the ego. Until that is dropped and love and self- acceptance allowed again in such situations, self-sabotage and pain will happen in similar situations.
These situations will arise often in an attempt to give this person an opportunity to drop the belief, remove that block they put in years ago, and allow the force of Life to thrive through them and grow without further hindrance.
Why does it need to be cleared? Because it is false, and limits expression of truth and life as it is without judgment. It is false because the child was never wrong. The person who judged the child decided, based on their own set of beliefs, that what the child had done was worthy of a denial of love, of punishment. The child would have been ok if it had not accepted this judgment as “truth” and judged itself as “wrong”.
However, it accepted this foreign decision, this attempt to deny life to what is, as the “truth”. It judged itself as guilty and having failed, and hence the ego and the block were added. Do you see how this all works? You, who are made eternally in the image and likeness of The Source, God, cannot lose this position under any circumstance, and any attempt to deny this, to impose guilt, unworthiness and failure on Who You Really Are can only succeed as an illusion.
Do you know what image and likeness means? All our religions remind us that we are made in the image and likeness of The One Creator, that we are part of it, not separate from it. “Image” means of the same form and design. Here we are talking about you, and you are spirit. Your body is just a temporary jacket that you put on and will soon take off and move on without. “Likeness” means of the same properties and content, such as power and abilities, knowing, being, size, extent, presence, and soon. The only difference between you and the part of you that you call God, is that (1) God is fully aware and conscious, not pretending, limiting and denying Who It Really Is (2) God created you by extending Itself, just like a parent creates a child by extending themselves.
That is it! That is the only difference. This means that the only two things that you are not capable of is creating God and destroying anything Real, for nothing Real can be threatened, as all Reality is an extension of The First Force. Any other limits you face are those you place and accept on yourself.
Ego knows absolutely very little, it defends that little morsel that it knows with all its might, and all it knows arises from fear, and thus it knows not the truth.
Love, on the other hand, knows Reality. Reality comes in Whole, and as Truth. Now why would you wish to place your trust in the ego that knows so little about the Infinite universe, in fact knows the exact opposite of What Is?
Would it not be much more beneficial to let go and trust that Love, which is part of you, the same One Fabric that can never be separated from you except in illusion, knows the How of how your desires shall be realized? It is, after all, the Infinite Intelligence that runs Creation. It is part of you, and you are part of it, all an indivisible part of All That Is, The Source, God, or whatever term you like.
Now that we know who the two advisors are, let us look at how you can always have love as your advisor and avoid having fear as your advisor. As long as you have ego working strongly in your life, any decision you make by yourself is made with ego as your advisor. It is very simple to turn that around. All you do is declare that:
Today I will make no decisions by myself.
All that this means is that you choose not to judge the events that arise. Remember, once you ask for something, the Intelligence of Life brings it to you in the most efficient way. It knows, for example, what sequences of events would lead to what you asked for to manifest. It knows which blocks within you need up to come to your attention and be cleared so that your desire may be manifested.
For example, if you have a subconscious blockage that you are not aware of that is sabotaging your desires manifesting perfectly, it may be necessary for a situation to be brought to you that allows this hidden blockage to rise to the surface. This happens so that you may resolve it permanently by redefining who you hold yourself to be, in the light of love and not fear. So at times, when such situations arise, you may actually think that you are going in the opposite direction to your desire, while in reality you are actually being presented with a chance to clear your hidden fears by bringing them to Truth and Love.
So simply decide not to judge the situations that arise. When you judge them, you are setting the rules, from your egoic experience, of how you should react and what things ‘should’ be. In such a position of mind, any other answer to your question, no matter how right and relevant it is, can only bring frustration, confusion, uncertainty and fear in your mind.
Only because you have decided what the answer should be and then asked the question, fighting the Real answers unless they match the answer you previously decided should be, no matter how illusion and fear based your expected “answer” is. When you ask for something, and then make up your mind what the form and process of the answer will be and block anything else, any Real answer will contradict your false one that you defend, and so you shall feel attacked and therefore angry and lacking. In addition, you shall miss the Real answer, only to wonder later what went wrong.
Step 3: Affirm the Day and Your Non-Judgment
Once more, think about the kind of day that you wish to have. Actually, go over the experiences and feelings you would like to have. Then, say to yourself:
If I make no decisions by myself, this is the day that will be given me.
Throughout the day, repeat this process every now and then. This will reprogram your old habits and within a short time, it will be second nature to have Love and Infinity, instead of fear and contraction, as your advisor.
In other words, if you do not allow your ego to block things up, to bring up thoughts that negate your desire, Life will naturally, without hindrance, bring exactly what you asked for, in the most wholesome way.
Step 4: If You Slip…
In the event that you find yourself angry and frustrated during the day, it will be time to recognize that the reason why you are in such a position is that you have pre-judged unconsciously and the answer being given to you looks like it is attacking the one you have already decided should be. It is thus necessary to quickly correct your mind and choose again to have an answer that works, not one that just fits your ego’s limited ideas.
If you do not correct it quickly, you will keep reinforcing your ego until it grows to a point where you blindly believe that the only answer to your desire is the one your ego has formulated. And because it can never be, you will find it increasingly difficult to get what you truly desire. Therefore, make this correction immediately, by saying to yourself:
I have no question. I forgot what to decide.
This makes you realize that the original question and desire has been hijacked by the ego.
Step 5: If Your Resistance Is High
If you find that you are still resisting letting go and trusting Life, you need another method to clear up the confusion. To get out of your cycle of making your own ego- based decisions, all you do is say to yourself:
At least I can decide I do not like what I feel now.
Well, that part is easy, isn’t it? If you are angry at your day, at least you can admit you don’t like what you feel about it. Once you admit that, you can easily admit the following:
And so I hope I have been wrong.
This will remind you that, based on your original true desire made before you started getting angered by thoughts arising from your ego, Life is bring in situations that would help you eventually to get what you desired. Through acceptance and working with the situations presented to you from a standpoint of love and willingness to discover the truth about Who You Really Are, you get closer to being the person who can have what you wished for in the first place. Success is not something you can chase after – it is something that you attract by the person you become.
By admitting that you could be wrong in your judgment of the situation, and seeing that you stand to gain by accepting and working with the situation with love and awareness, to grow, you start to see the benefit of letting go. You start to see that your happiness does not depend on your ego being right. In fact, you start to see that you would be much better off if your ego is wrong.
Step 6: Another Way to Look At It
Once you see that your perception is the cause of your pain, you can now say to yourself:
I would like to have another way to look at this.
This drops the ego’s goal that had replaced your original desire. The ego’s goal was “I am only happy if I am right even when in reality I am wrong”. This insane goal had started to replace the original desire for your day.
Finally, solidify your willingness to see clearly by stating it to yourself, by declaring yourself willing to see things clearly, by asking to be shown how to do so. You do this by saying to yourself:
Perhaps there is another way to look at this. What can I lose by asking? I am now willing to see things clearly. Show me.
You then stop fighting against life. Remember, what you resist persists, what you love and accept releases you.
In addition, isn’t it easier to have a happy day when you do not allow unhappiness of any form to enter in the first place?